Smoking!!

It was around half past 4 Sunday morning. I had been very restless for sometime and not being able to focus properly. My heartbeat had increased by two folds and I had this huge lump on my throat. My mind was flooded with these crazy thoughts over which I had no control whatsoever. I paced around the floor trying to make sense of what I had just encountered. I stepped out on the balcony of my cabin and felt the cool breeze and tried to calm myself but that didn't help a bit.

I then thought that maybe a cigarette would do the trick. So, I got myself a cigarette from the cafeteria. The first puff though a bit bitter certainly did help in calming down my nerves. I popped in a Ginger Halls and continued smoking. It definitely tasted better or shall i say, sweeter. I definitely had calmed down by the time I discarded the butt. I had definitely calmed though I don't know for sure what it was due to. The cigarette or just the diversion of thoughts. I certainly felt a bit dizzy and suddenly the cool breeze just got colder. There I had just smoked my first cigarette since September '08.

Comments

Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
1:23 PM
Unknown said…
What is it that jumpstart the urge? That...my friend,keeps the reader thinking.
1:25 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Monday Blues????

It was a bright, sunny and warm Monday morning. Having slept early the night before, I woke up early, feeling as fresh as a morning dew. I excitedly jumped out of my bed and went to make an international call. As usual, I was disappointed to hear the same recorded voice. So, I decided to while my time away in the net. Of all the contacts online, there was a girl who I had met and be-friended few years back during an usual Sunday hangout. Though we had met almost 3 years back, we hadn't faced each other ever since. Of course, I used to call her once in a blue moon, but more often than not, it used to be during those Sundays, in good mood. I specially love to talk to people when I am kinda drunk. Normally, I think I am kinda quiet person who doesn't like to talk much. When I am tipsy, drunk, in a good mood or in a high (whatever you call it), its just the opposite. At times, I've locked my cell phone away so that I don't disturb people during odd hours with my insanity. S
Read more

Offbeat...

What is life? Wikipedia defines it as: "Life is a condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects, i.e. non-life, and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally." How I wish it could be that simple. I believe this is unarguably, the most discussed topic that we've ever come across. Many writers, poets, authors have written or spoken about it. In fact, each individual has his/her own perspective towards it. The difference is some put their views in words, some talk about it and some just act on it. For me, life's been a huge roller coaster ride with all those highs and lows. Sometimes its been a great fun and I've wished the moment never ended. There have been moments when I wished that the clock would just stop ticking but time and tide waits for none. On the other hand, more often than not, life's been so dreadful, I've been en
Read more

Falling off a cliff..

I slipped on the edge and fell off the cliff. My sorroundings zoomed and passed by me in flashes as I rolled over tumbling to the chasm below. I struggled, swinging my arms and legs desperately hoping against hope that I would strike something that would stop me. I took bumps on my knees and my head occassionally bounced off the rocks. I tried to grasp the rock with my bare hands but was no match against the mighty pull of the gravity sucking me to its pit. As I approached the end of the chasm, I realized there were a lot of things yet to be done and the worst would be to give up trying. Twigs and branches snapped off as I tried to hold on to them and I rolled on continuing to fall. There was a sudden pain on my left wrist and a searing pain rushed through my body in a flash. Everything was numb then. There was no pain, I wasn't feeling anything. Instinctively I stretched my right hand and grabbed the branch with both hands as I clung to it with my dear life. I tried to lift my hea
Read more