Atheist's World

A trek to Sandakphu had always been on my wishlist. However, Sandakphu being in my own backyard, it was never a priority until recently when I started to seriously contemplate it. While on a trip to Dharan during Gai Jatra, I talked about my plans among a bunch of old friends. One among them immediately jumped up and asked if he could join. And, the plan got finalized. Day 1: Darjeeling. Sameer took the early morning bus heading towards Pashupatinagar from Dharan. I joined him midway. After reaching Pashupatinagar, we exchanged our currencies and had a light breakfast of sukuti thukpa. We walked for half a kilometer and went across the border in search of a cab to take us to Darjeeling. We couldn't find any direct vehicle so decided to hop in a vehicle heading to Sukhia Pokhari. From Sukhia, we got into another vehicle heading to Darjeeling. Upon reaching Darjeeling, we booked a room and settled down for a smoke. Bimal, a friend of mine from West Point days, came up to meet ...

Whenever I suffer from a bout of insomnia which incidentally is more often than not, I throw down a few gulps of whiskey in my defence. Whiskey used to win the bout easily. It usually was a lopsided bout where whiskey never had to make too much of an effort. I say this in the past tense now because lately whiskey has been on the losing side a bit too often for my liking. Is it because whiskey is getting too old? Or is it because whiskey is getting bored wrestling the same opponent day in and day out? Is whiskey getting a bit too complacent basking in its past glory? Or did insomnia manage to locate the chink in whiskey's armour? I guess I need to look for an worthy opponent to start beating insomnia unless I go nuts. You can only imagine how insomnia bothers the crap out of you unless you work a 10-hour night shift and yet do not manage to get an ounce of sleep. However, until I find a worthy replacement I will more than lovingly use whiskey for my defence.

People who are well acquainted with me know how far I can go to just please my taste buds. Ever since I landed in Delhi and had first heard about Nihari and Paya, I was intrigued. Nihari is meat cooked overnight and Paya is the feet of goat. I had made quite a few plans but none materialized. The main factor being that Nihari and Paya are typically served as breakfast and me being a nocturnal animal, waking up early was never easy. So after a long shift, instead of heading to our caves for some much-needed sleep, we were off to the metro station for a trip to Karim's. Upon reaching Karim's at 7 am, to our utter dismay we found that it hadn't opened yet. An employee responded in his sleepy tone that they would only open at 9am. As we stepped out of the little alley, I was, "Darn! this can't happen. I can't go back without a taste of those niharis." There were couple of vendors selling tea. We checked with them about other restaurants serving nihari, a guy ...

एका बिहानैको मिर्मिरेमा व्हिस्कीको चुस्की लिंदै विलिन हुन लागेको चन्द्रमा टटोल्दै निन्द्रादेवीको पर्खाईमा बसीरहेको छु| रातभरिको अनिदो शरीर थकित छ| आँखाहरु लोलाईसकेका छन् तैपनि निन्द्रा भने लागेको छैन| मनमा अनेकौं कुराहरु खेलिरहेका छन्| निन्द्राको अभावले हो कि व्हिस्की को नशाले हो, ठम्याउने प्रयत्न गरिन मैले| मैले त्यसदिन पक्कै पनि आफुले आफुलाई नंग्याउने अठोट गरेको हुनुपर्छ| गाँजा र चरेश को धुँवामा रुमल्लिएको ति दिनहरुको स्मरणले मस्तिस्क ताजा भयो| क्याम्पसको कक्षाहरु छोडेर माथि बुढासुब्बा डाँडामा राँगाको सुकुटीको साथमा छ्याँग र निगार पिएको झझल्को आयो मनमा| क्याम्पस जाने निउमा होस्टेलबाट एउटा कापी च्यापेर हिड्थे म, तर मेरो दिन बित्थ्यो छाता चोकको पूल हाउसमा| घर बाट ट्युसन पढ्न मागेको पैसा (भविस्यमा डाक्टर, इन्जिनियर बन्न I.Sc. पढदै गरेको छोरोले मागेको, बाऊले नपठाउन पनि कसरी) गिल म्यारी र चुरोटमा सकिन्थ्यो| कोरेक्स र प्रोक्सिबोनको खर्च चाहिँ बेला-बेलामा किताब किन्ने बहानामा पुरा गरिन्थ्यो| यसैबीच एकदिन घर गएको, आमालाई देखिन| बाऊले घरबाट निकाली सकेछन्| भाई-बहिनीहरुले रुँदै सुनाए| दु:ख लाग...

I slipped on the edge and fell off the cliff. My sorroundings zoomed and passed by me in flashes as I rolled over tumbling to the chasm below. I struggled, swinging my arms and legs desperately hoping against hope that I would strike something that would stop me. I took bumps on my knees and my head occassionally bounced off the rocks. I tried to grasp the rock with my bare hands but was no match against the mighty pull of the gravity sucking me to its pit. As I approached the end of the chasm, I realized there were a lot of things yet to be done and the worst would be to give up trying. Twigs and branches snapped off as I tried to hold on to them and I rolled on continuing to fall. There was a sudden pain on my left wrist and a searing pain rushed through my body in a flash. Everything was numb then. There was no pain, I wasn't feeling anything. Instinctively I stretched my right hand and grabbed the branch with both hands as I clung to it with my dear life. I tried to lift my hea...

Beating the chilly Delhi night with a blower and a laptop resting on my thighs, drinking Scapa with Buff Sukuti, Pork Luncheon Meat, accompanied by a wonderful company. Who could have imagined that a laptop could be so handy. It was very flattering to have her watch while I was cooking. It was indeed very gratifying to sense her joy and have her appreciate the spicy tea with black pepper. We sat listening to playlist comprising of the favourite numbers from Scorpions, G n R, John Lennon, Garth Brooks, Kenny Rogers, Dire Straits, Led Zeppelin, Bob Dylan, Phil Collins, etc. I didn't know "Another Day in Paradise" had a soul version. That was weird in a nice way. Lounging on her cane chair with the blower desperately trying to keep us warm, had me thinking, "Could the night get any better?" I doubted, but yes, falling asleep to the tunes of Kenny G was definitely the icing on the cake. The best time I've ever had in Delhi. Its right up there among the best time...

We knew that for the next 12 days we wouldn't be eating any salt. I was ok as I thought its just 12 days, its just gonna fly away. Wishful thinking, I bet it was!! That evening just passed by eating lots of oranges, few apples and a couple of potatoes with sugar and black pepper. There were quite a few people who would stay there all night long giving us company. Its a belief that the soul of the dead body strays around on earth for 13 days and hence the rituals (kiriya) for that many days. Only upon completion of the rituals, the soul heads for the heaven, so it is said. During these 13 days, the immediate family members who are in kiriya are considered impure and are supposed to be vulnerable to attacks by the straying soul. Hence, people giving us company or simply kurawas . The next day began with the Brahmin waking us up early in the morning. We were to take a bath. Never in our (me and my brother) lives had we taken a bath early in the morning that too with cold water. We a...

As my dad's body lay sitting cross-legged on the wall, me and my brother sat in either flanks. With the rooster's call, the new day dawned on us and my head was filled with turbulent thoughts. I approached dad's eldest brother and informed him about my decision of not doing the rituals. Within minutes my decision was ridiculed upon, and I was branded an outcast. I was given a choice that I could either choose to leave, not being allowed to carry the family name any further or just carry on with the rituals. Of course, they gave me half an hour to make my decision. Honestly speaking I could have just got up, carried my bag and walked away. I didnt give a rat's ass to what people thought about me. I wouldn't let anyone dictate the terms of life to me. I decided giving a last glance towards mom before I walked away. I could see her still red-eyes full of tears just looking at me intently as if to say, "please, don't go away." Then sister came to me and wh...

Since dad's passing, I've had some harsh realizations. Life in itself is nothing but a mere journey. All of us are travellers who co-incidentally happen to just bump across each other. With some, the journey is brief, with a lot of others it is even briefer. The only real destination is either the funeral pyre on which we are burnt to ashes or the ground beneath where we are laid and fed upon by the maggots. Getting good grades, landing a good job, owning a car, owning a house, falling in love, marriage, settling down, having kids, having a family are all the norms of life. It was done in the past so its an unwritten law and meant to be just followed. No questions asked. When something is done repeatedly over a period of time, it automatically becomes the law of the nature. Its like the points of attractions you have on your travel guidebooks. So, they are a "must do". If a guy/gal decides that he/she doesn't want to get married, he is considered either insane o...

I went inside the ICU and although I was briefed about his situation, I wasn't ready for what was laid in front of me. There was my dad in the state of drug-laden unconsciousness. His semi-bald head covered with hair longer than I had ever seen them. His always dyed hair was almost all-grey. His beard looked like someone had carelessly chopped them off. He was almost engulfed in a mess of wires and pipes. His arms had ballooned off and there were hardly any space without a prick mark. His chest was thumping in an unusual and artificial manner because of the ventilator pumping air in and out of his lungs. I called out "baba" a couple of times only to be met with the slow humming noise of the ventilator. I then had a lengthy discussion with the doctor. Apparently, dad's both lungs had collapsed to such an extent that they were not able to breath in enough air, hence the ventilator. His blood pressure was very unstable. His kidneys were also affected and he was a known d...

Always kept telling myself, EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED and yet today when I am at CROSSROADS LEADING TO NOWHERE, I realize that I ain't prepared to accept that LIFE INDEED IS A NASTY BITCH! However, on second thoughts, I ask myself what would I have done if LIFE WAS A SMOOTH SAIL. I know not the answers. I don't pretend to be the ENLIGHTENED ONE. All I can say is yes, LIFE'S BEEN A BITCH and ITS SCREWED ME WITH ALL ITS MIGHT but I have enjoyed every minute of it so, HELL YEA!! BRING IT ON BABY!..I dare you and I promise you I'LL BOUNCE BACK EVEN STRONGER!

The frowns of middle-aged men and women, the kids sticking their tongues out ever so slightly, the gutsier ones requesting to touch and feel them, some express their complements, while some dare with their disparagements some turning their heads to get a second glance all in all am enjoying the attention ..one year of dreading and still going strong.

Basking on the morning sun on my little patio, Rolling a joint with a chilled Kingfisher by my side, couldn't start the day any better. Getting messy eating the crabs, the sea food platter The gorgeous view of the sea and, the sound of waves lapping against the shore. All of it is washed away like the sands of time All that remains now is memory, a mere memory. Missing GOA.

Its been almost a year now that I've not updated anything on my blog. Not that nothing's happened worth mentioning. On the contrary, I just haven't had the time. My travel experiences to Goa is incomplete and the diary is languishing in some corner. My dreads are almost a year old now. Now with the change in shift timings and more importantly a comp at home itself, I guess I can be more regular at blogging but no promises, yet.

It was around half past 4 Sunday morning. I had been very restless for sometime and not being able to focus properly. My heartbeat had increased by two folds and I had this huge lump on my throat. My mind was flooded with these crazy thoughts over which I had no control whatsoever. I paced around the floor trying to make sense of what I had just encountered. I stepped out on the balcony of my cabin and felt the cool breeze and tried to calm myself but that didn't help a bit. I then thought that maybe a cigarette would do the trick. So, I got myself a cigarette from the cafeteria. The first puff though a bit bitter certainly did help in calming down my nerves. I popped in a Ginger Halls and continued smoking. It definitely tasted better or shall i say, sweeter. I definitely had calmed down by the time I discarded the butt. I had definitely calmed though I don't know for sure what it was due to. The cigarette or just the diversion of thoughts. I certainly felt a bit dizzy and sud...

Its been quite sometime that I haven't updated my blog. Nothing much has happened. The same usual stuffs of home and office. Lately, I have been extremely busy at office and the incessant load shedding hasn't helped my cause either. Sundays are usually spent at home with a quarter of Royal Stag/Signature or Antiquity and some appetizers to go by. The easiest and by far my favorite appetizer is Wai wai sandeko. Just can't get enough of it. I sometimes cook appetizers n other stuffs too. I have tried my hands successfully cooking egg pakoras, hash brown potatoes, beignets, burgers, fish fries, chicken chillies, chicken curry with coconut milk (Malaysian style), etc. Well they have always been 'Finger Licking Good' except for once when the Malaysian Style chicken was too hot coz I ended up using just a few too many dried red chillies. I used almost an entire can of coconut milk in a bid to mellow the taste but to no avail. We managed to finish the entire stuff which s...

It was one of those days, or in fact nights at office. Nothing I did seemed going my way. A lot of people who know me the slightest bit know how bad I am at controlling emotions. Every question irked me, every single voice irritated me. It got worst everytime the boss yelled, "score". I am sure the boys were trying their bit but it was a Saturday and most of the businesses were shut. I have never been very fond of working on Saturdays. I could not wait for the shift to get over so when the clock struck 8, Sunday morning, I hurried out of the office. "Nabin, wait I am also coming", a friend shouted as I got stranded in the staircase. "Lets go and play some pool", he said as we met. I couldn't resist the urge to strike the cue ball after such a long time. So, there we were in the pool house at 8 in the morning with a bottle of Red Label abd few packets of Lays and Kurkure. There could not have been a better start to a Sunday, I thought so. We started w...

"Bye, Goodnight", Rex slurred and staggered away to his destination. Thus, a night of drinking and laughter had come to an end, albeit unwantedly. It was a sunday and the plan had been conspired only a day before, Garcia was the one who initially suggested to have a house party. When I suggested Upstairs (I just love their pork momo) for our hangout he had said that it was pretty expensive. Hence, a consensus was reached for a get together at my place. I woke up pretty early and after some mundane chores, started preparing for the evening. I decided to prepare few items as appetizers to accompany our drinks. I honestly can't swallow a sip if there isn't a titbit to nibble on. Well, Feroze was the first one to show up just after the rain had stopped followed by Jim and Rex. Just after the arrival of Feroze, I cleaned and laid down couple of mats on the terrace. One by one, Alex, Garcia, Oscar, David, turned up. It was a great evening with dark clouds hovering over us. ...

The title has got nothing to do with the romantic flick. Of course, this article has its own romance. We had been in Darjeeling for the past 2 days and we were yet to see a proper sunshine. A typical monsoon. We had drenched ourselves and managed to visit most of the spots. Although nothing was new to me, I had a company for whom it was a first time. For us city dwellers and more importantly nocturnal creatures, a place like Darjeeling can be very small. The entire city is dead asleep by 8 pm. So, not having much to do and our pockets getting emptier because of the cheap booze and beef (i just love it), we decided it was time for us to leave. Running short of our high end dope too helped the cause. Pashupatinagar, the border to Nepal is an hour's journey and back then they used to charge 60 bucks (Indian Rupees) per head and they don't move unless they can fill 6 people in each of those Maruti vans. For me, the ride has always been worth every little penny, with those narrow ro...

It was a bright, sunny and warm Monday morning. Having slept early the night before, I woke up early, feeling as fresh as a morning dew. I excitedly jumped out of my bed and went to make an international call. As usual, I was disappointed to hear the same recorded voice. So, I decided to while my time away in the net. Of all the contacts online, there was a girl who I had met and be-friended few years back during an usual Sunday hangout. Though we had met almost 3 years back, we hadn't faced each other ever since. Of course, I used to call her once in a blue moon, but more often than not, it used to be during those Sundays, in good mood. I specially love to talk to people when I am kinda drunk. Normally, I think I am kinda quiet person who doesn't like to talk much. When I am tipsy, drunk, in a good mood or in a high (whatever you call it), its just the opposite. At times, I've locked my cell phone away so that I don't disturb people during odd hours with my insanity. S...